“Things Are REALLY Heating Up”

Awake at 3:30 AM — L.A. is relatively silent, for once. Write up Day One’s notes and e-mail to all. Hope Barbara has fax ringer turned off as I fax her’s to home at 5:00 AM. Hotel sewn up tighter than Jack Benny’s purse at 6:00 AM. Find Burger King across street — matches rest of food I’ll be eating this trip, so why not?

7:15 AM — Meet Frank, co-driver, in lobby — take taxi to Petersen Museum to prep SLEPE 63. Car safe and sound — check dipstick, and oil level as well. 2 drops on floor — oh the humanity! Apply new SHOWTIME Instant Detailer to SLEPE 63. Apply cool bug and rock tape which Dennis and/or others have cut to size. No longer deathly afraid of rocks and bugs — now just petrified. 8:15 AM SLEPE 63 is ready — Jim Savas, Publisher of Hot Rod et al, are not. Drew Hardin, Editor, has Mr. Microphone to make announcements to faithful crowd. Short in wire — certainly not related to Chrysler quality control on Pace Truck, which sets high enough to qualify as 4WD, but is not. Looks uncool, except for stripes, and massive air conditioning unit under hood. Attempt to steal A/C — not enough wrenches in my tool box. Will be sorry all day, no doubt.

Tempers flare. Temperature rises — SLEPE 63 turning green around gills — hope she doesn’t ralph all over pavement. Pass accident — stretch SLEPE 63’s legs — all is well. Finally get to I-15 — head out towards Baker, CA (our motto — “We have the world’s largest thermometer,” which says 102 degrees). SLEPE 63 does great on highway — hot puppy setting still in traffic or for gas, though.

Stop at Buffalo Bob’s in Stateline, NV. Get pass good for 2 rides for the price of one because we are celebrity. Head for killer roller coaster about which I have heard legends. “Broken today — would you care for 2 rides on a choo-choo?” Stupid is as stupid does. No one does train. Return to SLEPE 63 and distribute product in effort to further increase tire clearance.

3:30 PM — head for Vegas in mega cruise line. Is like giant slinky — speed up, slow down, and such on and so forth. Savas sets speed at 40 MPH as Las Vegas television crew overflies for footage. Big trucks get VERY mad. Finally speed up in mad dash to Vegas evening rush hour. Pass hotels for new Las Vegas Speedway, which we have been promised access to. Great photo opportunity. Drive and drive. Must be in Montana at rate we are going. Finally come to road — drive drive. Arrive at dust bowl which reminds me of Grapes of Wrath with bulldozers. Gravel/dirt road does not look like fun. Jim Losee of Edelbrock fearful of losing appendages if he drives Vic’s 67 down gravel road. He leaves. We leave. SLEPE 63 pulls strong through the gears. Ah, the sound.

Arrive at Sahara — get primo parking place across from Jet Computer Chip booth with mega-babe blond. Even stoic Frank remarks of her sales ability in explaining increased performance, greater mileage and bigger advance curves from her silicon chips.

97 degrees on black top lot. Such fun. Soda booth run by Bubba who can only fill 1 cup every 3 minutes. Perpetual thirst makes him my new found friend. He leaves — replacement can fill 1 cup in 2 minutes — this is progress! Great food — BBQ chicken and pork. Killer apple pie. Much improvement over road-kill burgers.

Crowd gathers. Love SLEPE 63. No chickens stick to fender. Increase tire clearance additionally through judicious distribution of product. Give away T-shirts to those who meet criteria — agree with me how hot is, and don’t understand “dry heat” theory.

9:15 PM Super Shops/BFG giving away Callaway Corvette from ads — they start up to impress folks. I fire up SLEPE 63 and crowd leaves Callaway for their Mothers® . All love SLEPE 63 more. I offer to race Callaway — they chicken out based on, no doubt, nasty sounds emanating from SLEPE 63.

10:00 PM — check in Sahara and die for evening — tomorrow is trip to hell and back, also known as 500+ miles to Grand Junction where Dennis will join in festivities and Frank will depart older, wiser, but no doubt very thankful for the time he has spent with me.

Story and photos by,

Forrest Tosie
Mothers® Polishes•Waxes•Cleaners